25. The difference between the Town of Babylon and Babylon Village, that Central Islip is really northeast of Islip, and that Long Beach is a city.
24. Jones Beach open-air concerts.
23. Elementary school trips to Vanderbilt Planetarium, NYC to see The Rockettes at the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City, the Fire Island Lighthouse, and Frost Valley.
22. Everybody has a PC Richard’s guy who gives them the best deal.
21. A direct flight out of MacArthur Airport is as precious as it is elusive.
20. Manhattan can have its Macy’s fireworks. We have Grucci. (Bellport in da house!)
19. Wanna take a road trip to see a giant duck in Flanders? Of course!
18. Montauk beach bonfires.
17. Ocean Beach: The Land of “No.”
16. Do not, under any circumstances, drive even one mile an hour over the speed limit in Asharoken.
15. Pumpkin picking “Out East.”
14. “Friggin’” is an acceptable adjective for everything.
13. New England Clam Chowder is white. Manhattan clam chowder is red. Long Island Clam Chowder is pink and kicks both of their asses.
12. “The Sound” isn’t a noise.
11. “The Casino” isn’t a casino.
10. Sweet Hollow Road is the scariest drive on the island. Never look back!
9. We have all been dared to ring and run the Amityville Horror House. No one ever did it.
8. My mom’s cousin is the Virgina Billy Joel wrote about in “Only the Good Die Young.” We all have that exact claim. Virginia got around.
7. Why the North Shore is like a foreign country to South Shore folk, and vice versa.
6. I could walk to that high school, but I’m zoned for the one three miles from here. And now I’m predisposed to have a deep-seated rivalry with those kids that I will carry with me for always.
5. A seashell painted by a child on Fire Island is more valuable than a Rolex.
4. We have to go to the beach again? I’m so bored of living so close to beaches 99 percent of the world would sell their ear to be able to drive to.
3. Going to the mall, not so much a shopping expedition as a social experiment.
2. Bacon egg and cheese. Cooked in grease on a deli grill, served on a Modern Bakery roll with salt, pepper and ketchup.
1. How a bagel is supposed to taste.