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At Work (118)
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The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher...
The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherto began his sermon when two masked men burst into thechurch and said "Whoever is not willing to take a bulletfor Jesus better leave now." More than half of thecongregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their masks, sat in the front rowand said, "Okay, Reverend, you can preach now. All thehyprocrites are gone."
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
The girl knelt in the confessional and said...
The girl knelt in the confessional and said,"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.""What is it, child?""Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirrorand tell myself how beautiful I am."The priest turned, took a good look at the girl,and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn'ta sin... it's simply a mistake."
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Noah And Today's Ark
Noah And Today's ArkThe Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am goingto make it rain until the whole world is covered with water andall the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few goodpeople and two of every living thing on the planet. I am orderingyou to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he deliveredthe specifications for the ark."OK," Noah said,...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Three religious truths
There are three religious truths:1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
A Friend's Prayer
A Friend's PrayerMay the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person whoscrews up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.Amen
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals...
The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, "I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible news." Of course, all the cardinals want to hear the good news first, so the Pope tells them, "Jesus Christ has returned to the world. The time of judgement is at hand, and our faith in his existence...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
What is white and flies across the sky?
What is white and flies across the sky? The coming of the Lord.
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist?
Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist?You get repossessed!
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Visual joke
Visual joke.:Stand with both arms outstreached level with your shoulders.Ask: "what's this?" - A really crappy way to spend Easter.
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)