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« Viewing jokes  1-10 of 28  |  Next Page »
Today is my daughter's 18th birthday...
I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Underwear is Important!
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle... From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Top 10 Reasons Why Hurricane Season is Like Christmas
Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas 10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows) 9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (campinggear, flashlights) 8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores 7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials" 6. Family coming to stay with you 5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling 4. Buying food you don't normally buy...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
How to Get A Good Night Sleep
By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office. "You've got to have a room somewhere" he pleaded." -- Or just a bed - I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager," and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Welfare
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi . . You know, I just HATE drawing welfare I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his 18-year-old nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in...
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
Do you like my new jacket?
Do you like my new jacket?It's great. Shame your body doesn't suit it, though.
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
never forget a face
I never forget a face!But in your case I'll make an exception!
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
face like a million dollars
You've a face like a million dollars.All green and wrinkled!
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
trip from beauty parlor
I've just come back from the beauty parlor!What a pity it was closed!
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
pretty little head
She has a pretty little head-- for a head, it's pretty little.
Published on Jun. 23, 2009, 1:49 PM by maggie@northshoremonuments.com  | 0 comment(s)
« Viewing jokes  1-10 of 28  |  Next Page »