| College Physics |
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out."To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"The professor stared at the student...
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| Different Kinds of Doctors |
There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:General Practitioners know nothing and do little.Surgeons know little and do everything.Internists know everything and do nothing.Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it's usually too late.
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| Pete |
Pete was sitting at home one evening when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to see a 6-foot-tall cockroach standing on his doorstep. The cockroach punched Pete between the eyes and scampered off.The next evening, Pete was sitting at home wen the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again. This time, he hit Pete in the stomach and karate chopped him on the...
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| How to Argue the Price of a Screw |
A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the business man a bill for $5,000 for his services. The business man, outraged at the high price, sent the doctor a letter demanding an...
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| Professional Courtesy? |
A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How ya doing?"She then wiggled her backside and walked off."Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife."Er- just a woman I met professionally." stammered the doctor."Oh...
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| Diseases |
The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.""Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess," Dan replied."They're going to name a disease after you."
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| Dentist |
Then there?s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you?ve got a hold of my privates." The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we?re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren?t we."
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| Waiting Room |
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you?re the new father of twins!"The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife?s room.About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room...
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| Deodorant |
A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don?t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago and has done for several years. The...
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| Birth Control |
An elderly woman went into the doctor?s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I?d like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you?re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and...
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